Slut shaming

"Ashewo Osi".
I don't think there's anyone who hasn't heard this vulgar epithet or it's variant, "ashawo".

Ordinarily, asewo is a Yoruba which is used to describe a person (?) - nah that's wrong - a woman who has sexual relations for money.

Now this definition is a broad sweep and doesn't look into why a woman is involved in such practices. That really isn't the motive behind this post. It means basically a (female) prostitute. You might wonder why female is in parenthesis. It's simple. Only women are called " ashewo". Men aren't subjected to the degrading term. Such a man would be described as a stud, virile, macho etc.

Sad as this phenomenon is, perhaps it would be okay or at least preferable if only such women ie women who slept with men for money were called "ashewo" but that is not the case. This brings me to the title of this writeup "Slut Shaming".

Slut shaming is what occurs when a female person is shamed because of the expression of her sexuality either privately or publicly. When a group of boys - with too much time on their hands - starting hooting at ladies because of their generous endowments in addition to shouting "see as your yansh big", or " Let me make a 'real' woman out of you", they're slut shaming. When you see a light-skinned girl walk past and you turn to you friend and say "Destiny destroyer", you're an indirect participant. When a rapist says his victim invited rape upon herself by being " provocatively " dressed, he is a willing participant because who is to define what provocative dressing is. Is it trousers? Is it makeup? Is it high heels?Is it a sultry smile? Who are you anyway to determine what is provocative to one person and not the other or to provide an umbrella definition? The anti-seduction squad? vintage looking wedding dresses

Don't think you're free either just because your skirts sweep the ground and your sleeves spill cups of water on the table. As long as women can't walk the streets free with their heads held up high and heels sound "ko ko ka" without being slurred we are in trouble. As long as a rapist can confidently, with the backing of complicit policemen say, "The sight of her bare stripped me of my senses" - because tomorrow it could be the way she smiled or *gasp* her red lipstick - or some other ridiculous notion, no woman is safe. Not even you.

Don't be blasé or unconcerned. Take a bold stance. Speak out if you have the ability to. Don't condone it. Stand against slut shaming. Let's not be part of a society where a woman cannot be herself without being ashamed. # istandagainstslutshaming